Strain Review: Uncrustables | Marijuana

Cannabis consumers come in many forms, so we’ve included multiple points of view in our strain reviews. Our longtime reviewers Monterey Bud and Duke London join Managing Editor Lesley Nickus and multimedia coordinator Allena Braithwaite. Today, they’ll be reviewing Uncrustables by Golden State Cultivators. Test results were not submitted with this sample.

Close shot of Uncrustables flower

Golden State Cultivators’ Uncrustables

Monterey Bud

Uncrustables by Golden State Cultivators is an aromatic surprise for the senses. A hybrid of Dosidos and Purple Punch, this tart 50/50 strain smells like sour grapes and pastry dough. A visually engaging flower, my buds were a striking sage green with crystallized hues of a bluish purple. Incredibly dense, yet supple once dissected, rolled, and lit, Uncrustables provided strong motivation for starting the day. Utilized as my Wednesday morning wake-n-bake nug, my hump day was off to an incredibly chill start. Motivated and relaxed by her 50/50 genetics, I took a few hits of this intriguing strain to arouse my sleepy imagination.

Duke London

It’s difficult to express with words just how much I love Uncrustables. Not the weed, the UFO-like PB&J sandwiches; they’re one of the greatest innovations in portable food and drink consumption since the Capri Sun. Facts. However, their weed namesake left me with significantly less satisfaction than the handy sandy.  Looks-wise, I’ll give the Uncrustables strain credit for being more visually stunning than white bread, but all other categories go to the incumbent. The Uncrusties didn’t smoke all that well, hit me very harshly in the back of my throat and left some sort of oily film in my mouth to pair with an extra-spicy aftertaste.

Lesley Nickus

Golden State Cultivators Uncrustables is really similar to its namesake, when you think about it. The dense, pistil-spotted nug has a round shape and smells a little like bread and jam. The sweet berry terpenes come through when you begin to break up the bud. When lit, the joint had a campfire flavor to me. That’s weird, I know, but I can only assume I was tasting whatever terpenes are responsible for that “bread” quality. Uncrustables was very cerebral for me and definitely affected my time perception.

Allena Braithwaite

What does it look like?
Uncrustables looks fuzzy with a lot of amber hairs.

What does it smell like? 
Woody and dank.

How does it feel?
Sticky and compact.

How did I smoke it?
In a joint.

How does it taste?
Mesquite? Haha! I feel like it’s slightly peppery.

How do I feel?
Body pause, head fast forward.

Strain reviews are conducted on strains submitted by cultivators and brands for consideration. If you have a favorite strain you’d like us to review, share your feedback in the comments.

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