My gods! She never never knew the bliss of tacos de lengua from a box-truck, and Charlemagne likely never ate from street-vendors a Turkish pizza, nor Cleopatra a gyro! Sushi?! Ramses II never even had California rolls, nor deep-fried lobster, probably not even a spicy tuna roll!
I am running the risk of too many exclamation marks, ellipsis to the rescue…
Marco Mother-fucking Polo never, ever had a Philly Cheese Steak, even with provolone or Swiss, let alone authentic Cheez Whiz.
This is unacceptable, my dudes. To hells with saving the Titanic, or stopping Hitler, or even sating my curiosity over the life and times of Jesus Hermione Christ – I must rectify these wrongs at once.